And here we are….

Some days TimeHop is just a little too much for me. I scroll through the years of memories, documented in my social media accounts. These last couple of years have been years of things being taken away, things lost, things broken beyond repair. So when I see all these memories it is through the eyes of loss, through a heart that is grieving. It is incredibly painful to see the things I treasured so deeply that are now gone.

Today I opened Timehop and realized that one year ago today was one of the worst days of my life. I can remember, so clearly, every moment, like a grandfather clock, ticking, one by one, each one etched into my memory so vividly I do not need TimeHop.  One year ago today I thought things had already been as bad as they could be and then this thing happened on this day and I realized it is always the worst…until it becomes worse.  Today when I opened TimeHop I took a deep breath, preparing myself for the onslaught of emotion that stays just below the surface, that tries, daily, to pull me under.  But today, as I looked at what I had documented a year ago, feelings rising up, memories flooding in, something else took hold. The Lord, my Abba Father.

The Holy Spirit swept in and whispered to me, “it has been a year, a year you survived what you thought you didn’t have the strength for, a year you allowed Me to be your Shepherd, your Strength, your Healer and your Hope. Don’t just look at all that has been taken, all that has been lost, all that the enemy has crept in to destroy, look how I, Your El Shaddai, have provided, remember this year, all the joys, moments of laughter and love deeper than you thought possible. Recognize that what the enemy has intended for harm, I am working for your good. I have not left you, I have not forsaken you. You are my daughter, My Beloved. This year you have clung to My Promises, My Word and My Truth. This has been your year to discover what it means to be more than a conqueror, because I have been the One to go before you, I have been your Shield, Your Ever Present Help, Your Defender. It has been a year that you have slipped into the deepest, darkest pits, and I have sent others to sit with you, until you allowed them to help you see Me and discover for yourself that I was also with you, always. This has been a year that you did not have the strength to survive, but I did and so you did.”

And so here we are, one year later, big deep breath, recognizing/feeling/remembering the pain of this particular day, one year ago, but choosing to focus on what the Lord has graciously done for me. And so I will say, Bless the Lord, O my soul, and all that is within me, bless His Holy name.  Bless the Lord, O my soul, and forget not his benefits, who forgives all my iniquity, who heals all my diseases, who redeems my life from the pit, who crowns me with steadfast love and mercy {Psalm 103:1-5} Bless the Lord, O my soul.

 

 

 

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